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Network

12/09/2008

Hey Networkia, this is it. The last day of class. One final hurrah. The homestretch. The — oh, NUTT clichés. Just go get drunk tonight.
Let’s get to some letters. I guess it would be cliché to start with a Network haiku, and I did say NUTT clichés. But you know what? NUTT you! We’re doing it anyway!

From Mercutio
Sleep is magical
Sleep saves lives and prevents wars
When do you sleep, Net?
Net: While reading your slop. BORING.

From Cthulhu
O Network the squid
amuse us with your wit now,
it's finals again

12/07/2008

Last Monday of the semester, Networkia. This means you only have two days left to skip your classes, terrorize your fellow classmates and flood Dr. Date’s inbox with your meaningless emotional relationship drivel.

From Bowties

12/04/2008

FROM: its_science

12/03/2008

Thursday: a day for Network Public Service Announcements:
I’m sure you’re all out there frantically cramming for your finals and trying to find all those “lost” homework assignments that you actually just blew off. Let’s all take a big Networkia breath and remember one thing through the remaining days until break: Hygiene. Seriously, you out there? You know who you are, who usually doesn’t bother showering at all the last week of classes and show up to exams in the same clothes you studied in all weekend. Enough is enough. Clean yourselves.

From: Coach

12/02/2008

Happy Haiku Day! Enjoy!

From HaikuKing
Campus Connector
Eat the kids, spit them out Wow
Semester over
Net: Eat up the guts, spit out the bones, march on?

From Coach
Darwinistsaredumb
went back to work at Arby's
His mom called in sick
Net: Mmm, curly fries

From A haiku for you
How does a squid type?
Aren’t you slimy and wet?
Maybe brain control

Net: Some of you out there are still mistaking Net’s inbox for the Doc’s (you know, down there, lower right-hand corner). Like this lost soul:

From WhereAmI?

12/01/2008

Ah, further evidence that Net > Dr. Date keeps rolling in:

From: DrDateHater

11/30/2008

For some reason, Networkia has gotten itself into a tizzy about vegitarianism. Of all the interesting debates, this is the one you’ve picked. Take it away.

From: CarrotTop

11/25/2008

FromDarwinistsDoItBetter

11/24/2008

From: NotAMac

11/23/2008

I’m going to take a little space to answer Dr. Date’s rather unlettered attempt at humor last week when he “fired” me from Backtalk.
First of all, I own this page. THAT’S WHY I’M AT THE TOP OF IT, YOU CLOWN. If I left, the backpage’s only purpose would be to wipe your NUTThole with, and, if you don’t mind my saying so, it would even be subpar filling that role. Welcome to FailureVille. Wait … You’ve been a resident there for a while, haven’t you? Here’s the key to the city.